| GRE LOL |
[29 Nov 2009|10:30am] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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Dude wtf, that is the most retarded and weird test I've ever taken. Did really well on the math, did not really well on the verbal. I was expecting the opposite, despite my COMP SCI SKILLZ OF THE MATHS. But, whatever, I did quite well, especially considering it was my first time taking that piece of crap, so I'm just not going to worry about it any more.
Night before last I kept having dreams about a white cat. I know it was runoff from fretting about my poor kitty, but it at least wasn't upsetting or scary. It just...was.
A few things to get done today, but nothing too stressful. Need to send off info for my letters of rec and do my stupid annotated bib, but otherwise just going to play some FFXII and relax, maybe watch a movie or something. I'm recovering okay, even though it still feels sudden and upsetting...but it's okay, now. It's just life, and like my mom said, I wouldn't not have had her just to avoid this pain now.
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| Bleh |
[27 Nov 2009|09:19pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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GRE tomorrow. It's been hard to give a shit and study, but Mom spent the night last night so I got more done than I probably could have alone. My aunt sent me nice flowers, and I think I'm doing pretty okay. It's hard sometimes, but that's just life. This year is almost gone, thank goodness, and then I can go forge something better for myself. If I can get into a PhD program my parents won't have to worry about me monetarily ever again (hopefully), and I can relax some at least.
Christmas cards, anyone? I'll screen if you want to leave me your address, and I'll be sure to mail you one :) <3 Keep in mind if you're planning on sending me one, my Texas address is no longer ours, though it'll get forwarded here at least.
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| Happy Thanksgiving |
[26 Nov 2009|03:51pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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Hope everyone had/is having a good Thanksgiving.
We unfortunately had to put my cat, Lily, to sleep today. She had kidney failure that just sort of came out of nowhere. I got to be with her, though, and she just went straight to sleep really quickly and peacefully. She was a really, really great cat, and now she can go be with my poor puppy dog.
I figured it's just best to do this now and not wait until later, even if it is a holiday.
Still got a lot of studying to do for the GRE before Saturday. Love all you guys.
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| ADOSNGIASNDG |
[14 Nov 2009|10:40pm] |
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mood |
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 there are no words |
] |
OH JESUS HOLY CRAP BIOSHOCK I AM SO BAD AT YOU BUT YOU ARE SO PRETTY ASNDIGPASDGNI
Also, I may or may not literally scream every time I happen upon a Big Daddy. :( I killed one dead though, yes I did. His name was Rosie.
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| IT'S TIME FOR SOME UPDATE |
[08 Nov 2009|11:41pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Halo 2 |
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So, I really need to figure out this whole mood swing thing. I was super depressed for most of the day, but am now quite happy. I may or may not be able to link this to social interaction...? I'm not sure at all, lol. All I know is I was upset and tired and then went to go program and am now pretty much happy and a little, but not so tired. Still have homework to do, but Kass is up so I get to sit with her, at least.
Programming went well tonight. I always feel bad because I start later than my partner, but it always seems to work out well in the end. He kicks some major ass, too bad he's graduating in December :< boooooooo
In other news, made the best chicken salad on the planet, so that's pretty awesome, and I finally got started on my community service, so I'm at about 5.5/16. Whooooo!
Okay, exhaustion suddenly, lol. Better get to work on that whole homework business. Also, it seems like I'm going to have to take four classes :< I was looking forward to just the three, but I can survive.
Also! Visited Carmel finally, which was really nice. Didn't get to spend too long because I had to come home for stupid Algorithms, but it was nice to see her all the same :D
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| Oh dear |
[28 Oct 2009|02:31pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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Blah blah blah life blah blah. I had a dream I was in prison last night and probably woke up about every hour.
Things have been going okay here. Got a presentation and an interactive grading done today, but have a midterm tomorrow. Called the botanical gardens and left a message to hopefully set up some volunteering, and I need to call Genewee to figure out meeting up this weekend.
My parents, however, have contracted a house, which is great news. It's really cute looking and I'm super excited to see it in person. It's also in a good neighborhood and was a really good price (depressingly enough, a price that's over double the cost of our house in Texas).
Gotta buckle down and study tonight, but otherwise might take it easy. Started working on the whole studying for the GRE thing, which sucks, but.. oh well. Not much choice, haha. I really need to nail down exactly what schools I'm applying to.
Hope everyone is doing well <3 I really miss all you Texas people.
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| What on earth |
[24 Oct 2009|11:29am] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
] |
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music |
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"Fireflies" - Owl City |
] |
My sleeping has become really poor as my dreams have started up again, always weird and typically intricate. I can't tell if there's any meaning behind all of it...I don't think it's stress based, considering I'm always about the same level of flipping out and the frequency of my dreams fluctuates with seeming independence.
Auugh, why do I always feel like something is missing? I miss things that I can't put my finger on, which sounds really bizarre and like some sort of mental failing, I know, but it's there and real and kind of hard to deal with.
I really hope I can get into a college for grad school. I'm really considering the PhD route. Is this masochistic of me?
Spent money I probably shouldn't've yesterday, but I really like the shirt I bought.
DISJOINTED POST IS DISJOINTED.
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| Yeah okay |
[22 Oct 2009|10:43pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
] |
Still having weird dreams. This one had me shopping through a bunch of Japanese stores like in Japantown and I accidentally stole one of their mini brown shopping carts and eventually had to run across this highway feeder ramp thing (which they don't have here in Cali) with my cart, hoping I wouldn't get hit. It was kind of weird.
Going to bed earlier isn't helping that whole exhausted all the time thing, lol. I think I'm slowly dying from the affliction of life.
Regardless, I CAN DO THIS. I will make it through this semester and pass my hardass classes, and be happier because I have amazing friends, classmates, professors, and opportunities open to me. Also, UCSC does exoskeletons????? WTF yes plz.
In other news: I LOVE CONEY AND BRICEY-BOO :< And Empy is amazing for sending me postcards that essentially sum up everything I love in Kingdom Hearts. <333 thanks hon, I promise I'll get off my bum and send you a letter soon!
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| Growing up and stuff |
[20 Oct 2009|09:30am] |
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mood |
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 dsgapdiga |
] |
Growing up is so weird and hard. Suddenly we're all somehow adults, and so the world of adult problems has come knocking on our door and essentially punched us all in the faces. What the hell? How did we suddenly cross this threshold?
Everything is so complicated right now. It's not all bad, just complicated. And I worry about everyone, worry about where I'll be in a year, worry about finding what I really want to do and worry if I'll even be able to do it. I can't fix my friends' problems. I can't even fix my own. So...what is there to do?
I'm also struggling with the bigger problem of what kind of obligations we have to the people around us. Ethics has in a sense totally destroyed my brain, because now everything becomes some sort of question of morality. Which it always has been, but being able to translate 'Should I do this for so-and-so' or 'Should I say this to so-and-so' from a singular problem to the big life question of 'Am I somehow obligated to this person to do x, y, and z' is kind of a crushing blow. I can't figure out how to do what's right, not from some specific morality standpoint like Utilitarianism or whatnot, but from just the greater, basic idea of morality that from what I've seen so far goes undefined. There has to be something right, I'm just not really sure what it is. Not that any of us are but, you know, that still doesn't make me feel better about being at a loss, haha...
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| ER ADVENTURES |
[18 Oct 2009|11:06pm] |
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mood |
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 lol |
] |
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music |
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Family Guy |
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Lol, poor Kassie sliced herself deep while working on her woodblock, so we got to call 911, go to the ER, and get the poor thing some stitches. Of course, I hadn't eaten, and since I got hot I nearly passed out. GO LAUREN.
Kassie is surviving, and we just need go back next week to get her stitches out. It was an exciting night, lol. Now I need to study for that midterm and finish my math homework. Whoooooooooo.
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| Um. |
[16 Oct 2009|09:26pm] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
] |
Blatant booty call. That was kinda creepy. It's under control now, I think, but...yeah. I'll explain later, I promise. Nothing bad happened, so don't worry!
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| Gwar |
[15 Oct 2009|12:42pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
Soooo tired. I've been having my batshit dreams again so I don't think I'm sleeping well :< I'll cope.
Just kind of hanging out on campus until I have to go to class. I have a lot I need to get done but I just don't have the energy right now, lol. At least I'm getting some of my reading done for Buddhist Paths... My mom is coming into the city tomorrow, which will be nice. I really need to get on the whole house cleaning business. At least this time she's visiting all my clothes are off the floor.
Hope everyone's doing well. I got to talk to Brice last night which was really nice. I think I'm going to watch Venture Brothers tonight while doing homework. Yesssss.
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| BROOKLYN RAGE |
[13 Oct 2009|12:27am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
:| Our router is shit. I knew we shouldn't have gone with Netgear. I hate Netgear.
I called tech support. Those of you who have seen Transformers: You know the Indian phone card operator? Yeah :| That's the exact service I got. Bored, didn't listen to me, and kept telling me to go to websites when I blatantly told him about twenty times THE ROUTER IS NOT GETTING ANY NET. IT IS THUS NOT SPITTING OUT ANY NET FOR ME TO USE TO GO TO THESE WEBSITES. In fact, switching from Internet Explorer to Safari is also not going to fix this no internet problem. Oh, yeah, and when an IP address is autoconfiged? That doesn't mean it's getting a trash address from the router. It means it's not getting internet >|
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| I'm being so good |
[12 Oct 2009|12:52pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
] |
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music |
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What not to Wear |
] |
See Courtles and Brice? I'm updating!!
Got an appointment with a dermatologist, yaaaaaaaay, and Ky got herself to her base safely :) It's a bit dreary outside but I'm still feeling pretty good. I should probably get to cleaning my room, lul. I have today and tomorrow off, which is a godsend with all the crap I've been going through recently. I know a lot of it is just me having a hard time balancing stuff, but it's nice to have some time off, regardless. Gotta get on top of my homework, le barf.
Also, Courtney: Mentioned Euro trip to Mom. Her exact words: Oh my gosh you have to go. So, I think that sounds like a plan X3
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| Whyyyyyyyy |
[11 Oct 2009|11:28am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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"Hurricane 2000" - Scorpions and Berliner Philharmoniker |
] |
San Francisco, you've failed us! For the past three years Fleet Week has been beautiful weather-filled, but it's all cloudy and crap :< It's nice and chilly outside, but I want some sunnnn before it turns into winter here, which just means mildly cold temperatures with mist for a few months straight.
Got up, did the dishes like a good housewife, curled my hair, and put on some make-up. I'm supposed to be running around with Morgan today, hence the whole looking nicer than a hobo thing I'm doing. I still get stupidly excited about going out to even just walk around for an hour, haha.
Ky's going to be in Washington soon, which is fun! For once in a long time we'll be in the same timezone for more than a little while. Annnnnnd I'm now battling with finding a grad school, which may or may not kill me in the process :< boo hiss.
Oh jesus this song adgniasd XDDDDDDDD
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| Oh god, hahaha |
[10 Oct 2009|12:00am] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
] |
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music |
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Moulin Rouge Soundtrack |
] |
Algorithms midterm, lol. Just. Haha.
FLEET WEEK, which means a) perfect weather, and b) Blue Angels! We saw them practicing today, and I just kinda hurrdurred, because I think they're pretty and cool.
After my test today I came home, ate, and then went with my mom to hang out with her cousin and her three daughters. I forgot how freaking INSANE and hyper they are, jesus. Of course, I somehow pulled muscles in my shoulders, so they hurt, and I had to carry children :< Owwwwww. Plus, they will not stop talking, or harassing you. I have never wanted to kill children so much, haha. I asked my mom how she survived with all of us being young at the same time, and she just said we were never that bad.
Came home, sat around, and Kassie finished Soul Reaver 2, yaaaaaaaay. Now she's drawing and I'm sitting here after reading more chapters of Billy Bat (intelligent, epic manga sdigaisdngsa <3333) and not understanding. Should be productive, probably won't be. I'll start programming on Sunday or something, since we have Monday and Tuesday off.
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| Hahaha, oh life |
[07 Oct 2009|07:35pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
] |
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music |
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"Layla" - Eric Clapton |
] |
So, got really sick last night, was still sick this morning, and am feeling better now, but I am wary of this.
Life is still kicking my butt a bit, but the prospect of maybe going abroad with Courtles in May has raised my spirits. I have an exam tomorrow and one on Friday that I'm nearly positive I'm going to do poorly on. This, however, is a 4 day weekend for me coming up, and I'm going to go over to Morgan's and hopefully start working on my dress and unwind some. Need to figure out dropping by Yaoi-con to see Genevieve, and seeing Nosferatu with live accompaniment Halloween night. Also need to figure out that whole doctor thing, and e-mail Kent and Joe. Sheesh!
Nothing exciting to report, really. I love my OS partner - he's so nice and we have fun just being retarded and playing with his magical smart pen that records what you write and stuff. Women in Computer Science is on its way to becoming a real club, and it's getting colder here. Considering getting a job for Christmas in the city. Maybe I should look in Walnut Creek, though...
Also, finding songs from my childhood that we all used to sing together in the car like Layla and Roxanne make me happy :)
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| :| |
[22 Sep 2009|09:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
1) School is really, really hard this semester.
2) I hate twitter and Second Life with all of my soul.
3) I don't care that your nose itches, or that you accidentally put different socks on this morning, or whatever. I can try to help deal with your major problems because I'm your friend, but I am too stressed out to listen to your bullshit babbling because you're bored. (And no, don't flip out, this isn't any of you)
4) At least I can commiserate with some of my friends on here (Courtney, Brice, etc.) about the exploding life thing. Bleh.
5) Being female is way too expensive.
6) I miss fun things, and I miss Texas more than I thought I would.
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[30 Aug 2009|08:46pm] |
I spent my night doing this.
Whoops
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